Why am i getting that old familiar feeling again? The one i haven't felt in years. The one where everything is the most beautiful shade of grey except for the grass, which is the most beautiful vibrant shade of green. The one where i want nothing more than to feel the pitted wet asphalt under my bare feet as i take one last look at everything and then turn and walk the other direction, not stopping until the asphalt turns to damp packed dirt and i can't hear my own thoughts over the sweet, silent mountain air.
Why am i suddenly so restless again? Is it because of the stress of figuring out how to pay for a college i can't afford?
(Side note- computer froze directly after typing that sentence, so i'm going to feel free to accept that as some very obvious, very frustrating sign.)
Or maybe it's NOT the same old feeling... maybe it's changed. Maybe i don't want to walk away, maybe i want to drive away listening to Bright Eyes' Poison Oak on repeat for as long as it takes me to get to some deserted strip of coastline in Maine. Or maybe i just want to throw myself down on that spongy, absurdly green grass and just concentrate on the water coming from all directions.
"Cold, wet, and alone" is a phrase most often used to describe someone who wants to be warm, dry, and surrounded by loved ones. But in all honesty, i can't think of what would make me happier right now than being cold, wet, and alone.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
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